look on what i have

i have two feet

i have two hands

i have one simple head

i have a pair of great myopic eyes with same amount

i have five fingers on each hand and foot

i have a big stomach, big enough to eat a chicken alive, if possible

i have a clear head to think

i have sheer strength to sit and stand

i have opportunity to understand

but look how i don't remember all that

look that i have no thankful feeling for what i have

look what i've done.

autistneverdie

the day we lost our cause

hello!

there. it's the word i should be shout when i haven't write here for months.

it's months, right?

i don't even have the cause to write anymore

i don't even have the right to own anymore

just a selfish being, here sitting behind his laptop,

bought to him by his loving father, whom until now he only do disappointing him.

just a selfish being, here daydreaming about his future,

brought to him by his loving mother, whom until now he only made her worried.

where am i now?

what am i doing?

wonder what am i doing in this world now,

being a trash

shouldn't we look upon our bright future without forgetting about all the hard work?

it's just a reason, the reason of why i'm running from reality

i even forget,

that day should be the day we lost our cause.

autistneverdie

tilting, panning

for me

life is just like camera movement,

somehow i felt like i'm tilting these days

raising up, falling down, raising up, falling down

but no matter what,

i stayed on the same place over and over again

before i was just panning

following things that moved. but still,

i stayed on the same place over and over again

please God, let me move,

or should i said, move me?

impressive, they said

but that just some condolences they had for my arrogant choices

i'm aware and afraid of that

but could never change, even if i wanted to

autistneverdie