do you believe?

do you believe in people you just met
when you only know them for short of time

do you agree with them more
when they gave you the better way of think
but not the right way
just because you agree with them

is it objectivity we find?
or steadiness of our own statement?

autistneverdie

for those brokenhearted

i found these on 'kaskus' forum and the topic was created by 'fhoofman' on h2h (already licensed to copy)...
just laughed at it when i read it over and over again, so i think you guys should read it too...
i'm not laughing over something funny, but well... just to found out that my life been like that too...
hahaha
well, here it is... enjoy!

1. your ex-love gave her wedding invitation to you personally when suddenly a tear rolled down from your eyes. she wiped it immediately and said, “you’re the one i want to be with… but you didn’t fight for me.”

2. when i was a child, i wanted to grow up and fall in love. now that i’ve grown up and falling, how i wish i was still a child… coz it’s easier to heal a broken knee than a broken heart!

3. the world can be so damn confusing. you wait for the one you love. the one you don’t love, waits for you. but the saddest thing of all… you love him, he loves you, but fate doesn’t want you to be together.

4. letting go doesn’t always mean, “it’s over.” breaking up would not mean, “i’ve had enough.” instead, it’s as good as saying, “i don’t want to see you sad anymore, go on, you deserve someone better.”

5. it hurts when the one you love left you and said, “you deserve someone better.” then all you can say is… “maybe i do.” but deep inside you’re crying coz you know you can’t find “better” when you already found the “best.”

6. “i got tired of waiting for you… i don’t wanna get hurt anymore. so i’m gonna stop hoping and i’ll try to move on… but i’ll walk away slowly… real slow… so if by any chance you wanna stop me, you can still catch up.”

7. “i don’t run from you, i walk away slowly. and it kills me because you don’t care enough to stop me. ”

8. i’ve done the bravest thing in my life. i let go of someone i love so much. but as i did the bravest thing, i never felt weaker. all i did was cry and wish that, “hope i was never that brave.”

9. did you ever love someone but you had to let them go, you thought they don’t love you, never cared. one day, you see that person again, already with a kid. you ask them, what’s the name of the kid, they smiled and said, “same as yours.”

10. when you walked by, i told my friend, “i loved that guy.” my friend asked me, “so why did you let him go?” i answered, “if he were mine, do you think i’ll ever let him go?” again, the one that got away......

11. people say that love is the best gift anyone could give and have… my heart was crushed and i asked myself: “isn’t it tragic when i’ve got so much love to give, yet no one seems to want it?”

12. sometimes there would come a time when we have to stop loving someone. why? not because the person started hating us, but because we ran out of reasons to fight for what we feel.

13. life is ironic! sometimes you keep on crying even if the guy neglects you, but you get surprised one day that just when you stopped crying and found someone new, that’s when he starts crying over losing you…

14. love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest.

15. the worst feeling isn’t being lonely. it’s being forgotten by someone you could never forget.

it's lucky that i had get over some of those. :D

autistneverdie

turn back

everybody has their time of turning back
cause
everything has to be change and every little thing is meant to be something in this world

every little thing we do
every little thing we did

it's just every little something that won't matters to our life yet affects it so much
and it's not as big as love or study or work or whatever but something affects them all

and everyone just doesn't realize it yet
no one just realize it yet
but no one just realize it
yet i don't want to know why is it
don't want to know why is it

turn back

turn back
turn back, my friend
look back to me and everyone you left
around

turn back and see what we can do
together we can do
together but we won't do it
if you want to be alone
if you want to be alone
if you want to never be free

never be free to yourself
to ourself, to myself, to themself
to everyone in this life of us
to every little things matter to us
also every single matters that affects our life till the end


turn back, baby
things just happened

autistneverdie

a day of travel

celebrating my mom's birthday today on the morning,
i went to jakarta yesterday afternoon and get there on evening

05.25 the morning comes true with a statement
"i haven't finished my editing project, but i have many things to do"

08.13 awaking
so i woke up early to start editing, but somehow i fallen asleep again for an hour

11.25 the editing is finished - almost -
and i went to campus, previewing things and print my mom's birthday card
my editing preview has somethings to reedit and then i went to TA to print the card

12.10 doing reediting and previewing until 2 pm
calling travel agency, xtrans...
hmm...
"hello, with **** here, can i help you?"
"is there any departure today to pondok indah?"
"it was, but already depart just five minutes ago"
"... (damn you)"
"but you can try the departure from cihampelas, sir?"
"what's the number?"
"*****"
"okay, thanks..."
so i called it, but it was busy for half an hour
then i called baraya travel
"hello, baraya travel with *** can i help you?"
"is there still any departure today?"
"already full booked till tonight sir, for every departure to and from everywhere"
"(freaked out) what? okay, maybe i'll just be on waiting list"
damn it...
calling xtrans on cihampelas
"helloblabla"
"yes, still departure to pi?"
"yeah, on five."
"i'll book one, how much it cost?"
"seventy thousand, sir"
"(full shocked) urh... okay... thanks"
shit, 70grand? cititrans is better with the same price
calling cititrans
"hello cititrans good afternoon."
"is there still any unbooked departure for today?'
"no sir, we are already full booked"
"oh, okay then... thanks"
damned

3.35 i was fallen asleep and then going onto baraya travel with panjie
the damn one was i don't know the place, and it's really on the inside of building that it's hard to see from outside...

3.55 good thing, i still can get one chair...
but the strange one that it's still four chair unoccupied..
haha

4.20 it's raining hard on the toll road

6.35 arrived at baraya pondok indah,
i was so hungry, then eating at pi mcd
after eating i flew away to pondok indah mall

7.05 arrived on pim, then went straight to gramedia to find some book for my mother
still confused what to buy, then after some friends saying, i bought a book about mother's pray


9.00 come down and bought ice cream cone from aw
went around somewhere and found a promo stand about figures
found some figures about doraemon!
and so many doraemon but no nobita!
i found one, but only the small one
well, in the end i buy nothing there and went home

9.40 arrived at home, and mom's already slept
so i drink some water to clean the ice cream flavor inside my mouth
and then my dad talked about "can't move the phone book to new handphone"
then i shocked till drop when i saw his blackberry bold... i want one too...

10.30 preparing the gift for mom, and place it on the table in the room

5.20 next morning, or today
mom came to my room and saying thanks
i felt happy, haha

6.30
already have to go back to bandung, so i woke up early and preparing for everything
at last, i'm having breakfast for the first time in the last 2 months, haha

7.50
aah i have to go back...arriving at baraya and departing

9.10 fallen asleep at first, but can't get a good one because i'm worrying
about my midtest at 11

10.00 freaked out, waiting to arrive at campus before 11...

10.30 arrived at campus! yeah...

11.00 statistical data analyzing mid test... cleared with some good premonition! haha

well
don't know, just want to write a story
somehow doing it is far more better than just talking about it

autistneverdie

too fair, isn't it

it's just too fair
life just too fair

it's karma, whatever you did, happens to you in the future

no matter what it's just too fair
why can't i be a villain
who enjoy doing everything bad and just died as well

why i should be trying to be those prince in black horse,
wearing all those shining black armor?

just for you, just for someone
who i don't even want to know
but i did know


it's just too fair, isn't it?

autistneverdie

ten randomnements

# Each blogger must post these rules.

# Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.

# Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their ten things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose ten people to get tagged and list their names.

# Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged and to read your blog


-note:randomnements isn't even a word-
i woke up in a morning and reading some sickening small font of my friend's blog
now i'm doing this, but i'm not making my readers having eyesore with small fonts

[ten]
i don't like strawberry,
but somehow i tend to like strawberry-lover
and it happened not just once or twice

[nine]
i'm autist, just because everybody said so
that's the only labeling that affects my life besides fat! haha
it started around my 2nd year of high school,
where one year counted as nothing there and only work and work and work,
but still, without study

[eight]
i'm forgetting things so fast,
the absolute thing i forgot is recent school subject,
that's why i never got to learn before taking a test
because i'll just forgot about it
what i'll remember is random things people said in random place when the time is random

[seven]
i love my family so much,
but i love them more when i'm not with them
because that's when i know how much i missed them
but i'm not saying that home is the most comfortable place

[six]
i love art, and i hate physics
i love play, and i hate physics
i love designing, and i hate physics
i love media, and i hate physics

wonder how i can still survive in studying physics as my major in college
but you know, till know i still glad that i don't have my likings onto something i have to study
because no matter what, i hate studying the most
and if i have to study of what i like, i could hate things i like
that would be hard

and yeah, i hate smoke, and i hate smokers

[five]
i want to be game designer
and the world just can't stop from slipping me off that dream
but who knows how it works?
as long as i enjoy my life, i could be what i enjoy

and i truly don't want to be a physician
but i prefer being teacher to daily officers

[four]
i had imaginative friends
and they are real to me
they're everywhere and accompany me wherever i'd go

but now there's people who replace them
that's why i'm more onto social person now
most of you don't even know how dark my past is

[three]
i can fall in love with more than one person at a time
meanwhile girls just had their heart set to me when i just couldn't
the first time i chase someone i had a crush on always failed
but all i know is, the next day they would find me a comfort zone of them

[two]
love fills my life around ten percents
study is one percent
work is around seven percents
other things around five percents
and the whole rest is dedicated to having fun and play

and i play on a big game called 'life'

[one]
i'm not a child
neither an adult
i just understanding my position, whether i have to be what
i'm an acting leader
i'm a good employer
i'm great in being a sidekick
i'm proud to be a jerk
while i'm doing my best to be the best of one

hmm...maybe that's all
who/s tagged?
hae[kal], ni[sa], yudhis, dani ...
i don't know another who reads my blogs [and those last two above, haha], and i think if you read this, you would!

autistneverdie

butterfly

butterfly just doesn't come by itself without brings anything

i hope it brings joy to me

autistneverdie